Teacher Advice from a Mom with Special Needs Kids

Being a teacher I have learned a lot about myself over the years.  I bet you can relate.

Being a mama who is also a teacher, I have learned that I have changed how I do things over the years in the classroom, as I want to be the teacher that my own kids would need.

Being a mama to special needs boys I have been twisted and stretched and pulled, just like that taffy I so love to get when we head to Pismo.  I have learned how to advocate.

Being a mama to special needs boys who is also a teacher, I want to believe that I have been able to shine some light and give some hope to my special needs students and their families.

Always learning, always growing, always searching for the glimmer of hope.

Let's talk about the kid that's hyper-active.  I have one.  He's a wonderful kid.  He works mighty hard to do things right the first time, and is hard on himself when things get tough.  I see kids like him in the classroom, sometimes they are afraid to start because they are scared of failing.

Let's talk about the kid that's a perfectionist.  I have one.  He's a wonderful kid.  He works mighty hard to do things right the first time, and is hard on himself when things get tough.  I see kids like him in the classroom, sometimes they are afraid to start because they are scared of failing.

Let's talk about the kid with autism.  I have one.  He's a wonderful kid.  He works mighty hard to do things right the first time, and is hard on himself when things get tough.  I see kids like him in the classroom, sometimes they are afraid to start because they are scared of failing.

All three kids have their own challenges.  It's like the three bears at my house - all three are so different, yet all three kids need someone to come alongside them and believe in them.  All three kids have hit their own walls at different times, and sometimes need a helpful shove to get them over that barrier.

Labels don't change anything about a kid or their personality, but sometimes they can help to understand where their challenges and strengths lie.

So, as a mom of these special kids, what advice can I give you?

The Hyper One: It's really hard to concentrate when one is viewing the world through cobwebs.  That's how the pediatrician described it to us years ago.  Our kid has to sort through and move the cobwebs to get a good look as his brain is moving at roller coaster speeds.  There are so many good characteristics that teachers may not see in the classroom.  We see them and recognize them.  As teachers, try really hard to get to know kids as people, not just as the label.  Recognize their strengths, recognize them as individuals.  Helper, Kind, Good Citizen, Engineer, Volunteer, Loves to swim, Loves to bake, Introvert, Shy, etc.  Yeah, they might need extra help with organization (don't all kids), but there are always more positive than challenges.  Yeah, memorization can be super tricky, but accommodations really do help to make life a little easier.  Please be the teacher that follows the accommodations in their IEP.  It's the law, but it's also just the kind thing to do.  Give some mercy and some grace, especially when things get challenging.  And when those hormones hit, and the medicine doesn't work the way it's intended, please just love them.

The Perfectionist: There will be some point in their life that school will turn hard for them.  It may not be where we as teachers expect it to be, but it will happen (as it always does).  As a parent, just know this type of kid may hide it at school and will need encouragement to let down the mask.  The perfectionist doesn't like to show when things get hard, but know that at home that we see it and recognize it. We deal with the frustrations at home, and if we come to you with concerns, please don't get upset.  I may not see the whole picture from the home view, and you may not see the whole picture from your classroom, but together we can be a team.  Please don't give up on our kid.

The label of Autism:  I know some may disagree with me, but since we spent the first 7 years of his life without the label, I was always searching for the why.  Why were things so hard?  Did I cause this in my baby?  Why did it take until after 1 to learn how to crawl, after 2 to learn how to walk, after 3 to learn how to talk?  Why were there sensory issues?  We spoke to his doctor with concerns, spoke to specialists, went to a neurologist, had early intervention for years, then he was in the special ed program, worked with a behavior therapist, then mainstreamed with all his pull outs, and no one recognized it as Autism until a fellow colleague was BRAVE enough to ask me where he was on the spectrum.  She had worked in a special ed. classroom before becoming a general ed. teacher and understood things for what they really were.  The lack of eye contact, the stimming, the repetition, the deep focus...  I first brushed it off since ALL those others had said that wasn't what was going on, but after specific testing we found out it was exactly what was going on.  And then we were able to get specific help that has made a world of difference.

A label isn't the end of the story.  These last 2 years with knowing the cause behind the challenges has made it easier to understand the big picture.  I'm so thankful that she was brave enough to speak up.  The kid with autism is dealing with more things than most kids will ever have to go through in their entire lifetime.  Speech issues? Motor challenges? Extra services and therapies? Social skill challenges? Having to catch up on academics at home because of all the pullouts?  Having to do their homework after additional therapies? But something I've learned is that even a snail's pace is still moving forward and to celebrate the growth - ANY growth is a big deal.  That small positive note or email home (which probably didn't take more than 10 seconds to write), has meant the world to me as a parent.  The comment from a teacher, or another adult in his life that recognizes the growth for what it is, will make tears jump to my eyes.  Please, I beg you, please be the teacher that celebrates the small stuff.

Teacher perspective - it's hard to manage 30 different personalities in the classroom - I totally understand that, and the extra steps to help the student that struggles sometime may feel like there is no hope.  Be that hope.  Love those kids.  Love all the kids.  Be their advocate.  Move the world for them.  Don't give up on them.  Fight for them.  Help them.  Care about them.

It's a big task being a teacher.  A lot more than just opening up a lesson plan book.  But you know that.  Thanks for listening.